Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, Her Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed by Lori Gottlieb
Characters:
Her Clients:
Plot:
The structure of the book is such that it switches back and forth between Lori's own personal issues and therapy sessions with Wendell, and her clients' sessions and their struggles. I found this worked organically, and the stories were woven into Lori's own discoveries about herself around similar themes.
Lori focuses quite a lot on her break up with "Boyfriend", as she calls him, and how she felt blindsided by it, and she goes on for quite some time trying to make sense of the reason why he left.
These sections were my least favourite because to the outsider who isn't currently grieving the end of a relationship, it all seems self-indulgent, obvious, and melodramatic. But then again, many of us have been in the same place before, grieving the loss of our presumed futures, making the same seemingly pathetic laments to our own therapists— so who are we to judge? While these parts weren't necessarily the most interesting things to read or listen to, I suppose they did give the perspective that even therapists who do this type of work professionally don't have all their shit together.
I really liked that Lori clearly cares deeply for her clients, even the ones that are challenging to like at first, like John. You get the sense she truly enjoys her time with them, and gets as much out of the experience as they do. As things go on, it's easy to start to really like the clients, too.
I have to wonder how ethical it is to share details of clients' lives to this extent, even if some names and identifying information was changed. I feel as though I could find out who some of these folks are if I do some googling, which doesn't really seem right. In any case, I hope the clients are all ok with the handling of it all.
As for her own therapist, Wendell, while I enjoyed his character, I felt a bit like we didn't get enough depth to get a good sense of him. Maybe that's due to the nature of therapists, and how they obviously don't make themselves the star of the show.
Some small gems of truth came up every so often, and this one was one of my favourites:
"People who are demanding, critical, and angry tend to suffer from intense loneliness. I know that a person who acts this way both wants to be seen and is terrified of being seen."
29th book I've read in 2019
Find it on Goodreads
Format: Audiobook from Audible.com
I found listening to this on audiobook was a good choice, since so much of it involves spoken dialogue, and I suspect I might not have finished reading it if it was in regular book format. It was around 14 hours long, though, so it's quite an undertaking.
Narration:
This was read by Brittany Pressley, who I'm not familiar with, and I found it easy to imagine the voice speaking was the writer herself. Having said that, I won't lie— the voice grated on me over time, though I'm not sure if it was the voice itself or some of the more banal bits of writing itself. I didn't care for the deeper change of voice she used when she was speaking as John, for instance— I'd have preferred if she just continued using her same natural voice.
Rating: 3.5 stars out of 5
I enjoyed reading this, but some aspects left me wanting. It had potential, and mostly held up, but it didn't resonate 100%. I wouldn't necessarily recommend reading it, unless you have a personal interest in therapy, and seeing behind the therapist's curtain, so to speak.
- Lori herself
- Boyfriend, Lori's boyfriend who dumps her because he doesn't want to live with children anymore (Lori has an 8 year old son).
- Wendell, Lori's therapist
Her Clients:
- John, a Hollywood screenwriter who thinks everyone's an idiot
- Charlotte, an alcoholic who dates all the wrong guys
- Rita, a woman in her 70s who has made some major mistakes in life, and is struggling to see a reason not to end her own life by her next birthday if conditions don't improve.
- Julie, a 30 something newlywed professor and Trader Joe's clerk with terminal cancer
Plot:
The structure of the book is such that it switches back and forth between Lori's own personal issues and therapy sessions with Wendell, and her clients' sessions and their struggles. I found this worked organically, and the stories were woven into Lori's own discoveries about herself around similar themes.
Lori focuses quite a lot on her break up with "Boyfriend", as she calls him, and how she felt blindsided by it, and she goes on for quite some time trying to make sense of the reason why he left.
These sections were my least favourite because to the outsider who isn't currently grieving the end of a relationship, it all seems self-indulgent, obvious, and melodramatic. But then again, many of us have been in the same place before, grieving the loss of our presumed futures, making the same seemingly pathetic laments to our own therapists— so who are we to judge? While these parts weren't necessarily the most interesting things to read or listen to, I suppose they did give the perspective that even therapists who do this type of work professionally don't have all their shit together.
I really liked that Lori clearly cares deeply for her clients, even the ones that are challenging to like at first, like John. You get the sense she truly enjoys her time with them, and gets as much out of the experience as they do. As things go on, it's easy to start to really like the clients, too.
I have to wonder how ethical it is to share details of clients' lives to this extent, even if some names and identifying information was changed. I feel as though I could find out who some of these folks are if I do some googling, which doesn't really seem right. In any case, I hope the clients are all ok with the handling of it all.
As for her own therapist, Wendell, while I enjoyed his character, I felt a bit like we didn't get enough depth to get a good sense of him. Maybe that's due to the nature of therapists, and how they obviously don't make themselves the star of the show.
Some small gems of truth came up every so often, and this one was one of my favourites:
"People who are demanding, critical, and angry tend to suffer from intense loneliness. I know that a person who acts this way both wants to be seen and is terrified of being seen."
29th book I've read in 2019
Find it on Goodreads
Format: Audiobook from Audible.com
I found listening to this on audiobook was a good choice, since so much of it involves spoken dialogue, and I suspect I might not have finished reading it if it was in regular book format. It was around 14 hours long, though, so it's quite an undertaking.
Narration:
This was read by Brittany Pressley, who I'm not familiar with, and I found it easy to imagine the voice speaking was the writer herself. Having said that, I won't lie— the voice grated on me over time, though I'm not sure if it was the voice itself or some of the more banal bits of writing itself. I didn't care for the deeper change of voice she used when she was speaking as John, for instance— I'd have preferred if she just continued using her same natural voice.
Rating: 3.5 stars out of 5
I enjoyed reading this, but some aspects left me wanting. It had potential, and mostly held up, but it didn't resonate 100%. I wouldn't necessarily recommend reading it, unless you have a personal interest in therapy, and seeing behind the therapist's curtain, so to speak.
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